I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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