My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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