I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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