You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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