we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
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he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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