dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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