we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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