it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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