I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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