yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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