can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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