I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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