I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
People in love make me want to vomit
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
