I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
