I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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