I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
