My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
