sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
