i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
