i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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