hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
