I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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