She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
