Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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