Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
