What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
