I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
