No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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