He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
