she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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