I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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