The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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