that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
