hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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