in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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