Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
