I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
