People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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