ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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