There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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