Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
