do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
