No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
