he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
