just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
