Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
