im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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