would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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