i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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