Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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