Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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