my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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