I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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