before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
