Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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