did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
